Top 10 Reasons to Elope

Why Do People Elope?

Having an elopement means you can throw the rule book out the window! You can put traditions and expectations aside and create something intentional, fulfilling, and authentic! You have an OPPORTUNITY here, to be unapologetically yourselves, to be uninhibited, to have the meaningful day you’re dreaming of, and you can make it happen. You don’t have to fall into the “trap” of the big wedding industry, full of distractions, fluff, cookie-cutter traditions, and diluted emotions.

When you’re planning a big traditional wedding, you’re basically hosting a giant party, and you become an event planner instead of a couple in love committing your lives together and wanting to celebrate and honor that. Everything becomes about catering numbers and seating arrangements and who can’t be in the same room with whom, and all that other “stuff.” Elopements bring it all back to what truly matters, the authentic moments, the intentional choices, and the meaningful experience.

Reasons to Elope

Many couples think, well, we want all our loved ones in one place, but there are other ways to have everyone you love in a room together (and not just all these random people you felt obligated to invite to this intimate special event). Those super short interactions that just include a quick hug and a “thank you for coming” as you pass through the dinner tables (where you probably don’t even get to enjoy a bite of your own expensive catered meal) are just not very meaningful interactions.

When it comes to elopements, it’s all about the amazing decisions you can make INSTEAD! Instead of paying for catering for 200+ people, you can hire a private chef to make you a 5-star dinner! Instead of renting a wedding venue to fit all your guests, you can get a unique AirBnb and have a full multi-day getaway. Instead of paying thousands for an event space, you can opt for a small permit fee to get married in a National Park or other beautiful public lands! Instead of renting a dance floor and hiring a DJ for a huge group for a short evening, you can splurge on an epic experience together (helicopter ride to your ceremony spot, off-roading adventure, hot air balloon, private boat, vacation to your dream spot (even combine it with your honeymoon!), and the list goes on!

Why Elope?

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1. “Just Us” Experience

Most couples having big traditional weddings don’t actually get to spend much time with their partner on their wedding day - pretty crazy, right? Sometimes they only get a few minutes maybe during a First Look and then there isn’t really any other time that’s just for them. There’s always something going on, something to check off a list, some uncle’s co-worker’s cousin to greet, and so on.

An elopement brings that focus back to you two as a couple, celebrating your love story and your marriage, where you actually get to spend TIME. Time with each other, time with the closest loved ones you might decide to include. Time to savor, enjoy, celebrate, relax, and soak it all in. Elopements strip away all the distractions and the fluff that take away from your day instead of adding value to it, and you’re left with the real stuff, an intentionally “just us” wedding experience. You can definitely still have loved ones at your elopement, that part is totally up to you!

2. More Intimate & Meaningful

A lot of this goes hand in hand - a smaller guest list will mean a more intimate experience, feeling more at ease and more comfortable to be vulnerable, to feel your feelings, to share what might be very personal wedding vows to each other, and to experience the magic of getting married and celebrating that in all its glory in an authentic and uninhibited way!

Because all of that fluff just gets peeled away, you’re left with what really matters to you, and what will bring meaning and purpose to your day. It’s none of that cookie-cutter, Pinterest-checklist, staged-and-posed type of day. This is the real stuff, the authentic moments, the intentional choices, and the meaningful experience.

3. Less Stress & Anxiety

There’s so much more freedom and flexibility when you’re planning an elopement! There’s a lot less moving parts, less people to worry about, less drama to put up with, and just puts aside so many of the things that cause couples stress and anxiety on what should be a carefree and joyous day. I’ve heard from too many couples having big traditional weddings that they just couldn’t wait to “get it over with,” to just “be done with it already.” It takes so much of the magic and meaning out of the experience.

Planning a big traditional wedding can feel incredibly stressful with the endless to-do list, so much to keep track of, worrying about your giant guest list, and planning the largest party of your life when you may not have ever even planned an event before and it can just all feel like too much (I’ve found this to be the case even when couples hire a wedding planner). Your wedding day should feel relaxed, fun, exciting, and free of stress! If you’ve seen a few of your friends get married already, you’ve probably also experienced how stressful and frustrating a lot of the big wedding planning can be.

4. Value Experiences

Speaking of experiences, this is one of the biggest reasons why I encourage couples to elope instead of falling into the stress and expectations of the big wedding industry. It comes down to this: what do you really value? In life? On your wedding day? In your relationship? In your free time?

An elopement is so much more about creating an experience you can have together that will do justice to celebrating your marriage. An amazing day full of unforgettable moments you can cherish forever.

Can you guess what one of the LAST things couples having a traditional wedding do before the wedding? Write their vows! When I’m capturing those couples getting ready, they’re stressing about how they were up late trying to rush through their vows and now scrambling to write them down. What?! That’s the entire point of this whole thing - you’re getting married, exchanging vows, and committing your lives to each other! But it all gets lost in the shuffle. It becomes about planning the big event, the big production, not the experience and not what really matters.

5. Family Drama

This topic is definitely complicated - the truth is, a lot of the stress of big traditional weddings can come from family expectations, social pressures, cultural or religious obligations, etc. It’s not that these things can’t be wonderful things too! It’s about eliminating what brings stress and drama to a day that should be stress-free. If you find meaning and comfort in including loved ones - do it! If you feel close to your culture and want to include those aspects in your day- go for it!

That’s the whole point, it’s about what matters to you both and what you want to include - not what you’re “supposed to do.” For a lot of couples, these parts of their lives may not always make them feel safe and comfortable to be fully, authentically, and unapologetically themselves. There may be awkward dynamics, sensitive topics, and some parts of your family, your culture, your religion, your community, etc. simply may not align with these parts of your values or aren’t supportive of your marriage or a hundred other things that could cause drama and anxiety around your wedding day. Elopements strip away all those pressures and expectations and really gives you the freedom of who to include and what to involved in this precious day.

6. Not the Center of Attention

Let’s be honest, for a lot of us, being the center of attention can just feel uncomfortable! It can be nerve-wracking to have all eyes on you, having to say your very personal vows in front of an audience, walking down an aisle with everyone staring at you, and just having so much of the spotlight on you.

Whether you’re an introvert like me and almost half the population, or an extrovert who just wants an intimate experience, an elopement can feel a lot more comfortable and enjoyable for this reason! You don’t have to be worried about being judged, other opinions, all the attention on you, and pleasing other people. Instead of having to put on a show, plan a huge production, create a big spectacle, you can have something intimate and meaningful!

7. Too Much Planning

I’ve mentioned before that big traditional weddings have so many moving parts to them, so much going on, so many vendors, so many contracts, checklists, seating charts - it can feel endless. Don’t get me wrong, the initial stages can be really fun when you’re browsing Pinterest and in that just-engaged bliss, but as you dig in, you start to see how MUCH planning goes into all of it. For a lot of couples, it can become a logistical and financial nightmare.

Who do you have to invite? Who are your parents adding to the guest list? Can people bring plus ones? (That’s a lot of extra expensive dinners to pay for!) A venue costs how much? A fee to cut my own wedding cake? Where will everyone be staying? Who will be my maid of honor, all the bridesmaids, and groomsmen, is so-and-so going to get upset? Am I supposed to plan a bridal shower? What are wedding favors even for? I need an extra bouquet to throw? The list goes on forever - and if you got anxiety reading that, a big traditional wedding may not be for you. So many of the important things also end up getting pushed aside. (Remember what I said about how couples end up rushing to write their vows the night before?)

8. Save Money

Did you know the average wedding in the U.S. costs over $34,000? Yep - that’s basically a down payment on a home your family can live in for generations! Elopements on the other hand are closer to around $10,000 for an epic experience! Now this doesn’t mean “cheaping out” on your wedding day. What it actually means is that your funds go to what actually matters to you!

It will go to crafting an incredible experience for the two of you, that may involve travel to a beautiful place, new experiences together, doing all your favorite things, having the best food and drinks and whatever else you like, hiring high-quality vendors and services that you actually care about, and so on. It’s about allocating your wedding funds to things that bring meaning to your day, not buying dinner for 200+ mostly strangers.

9. Eco-Friendly Wedding

This is something a lot of people don’t really think about, but sustainability is a factor too. Even if you’re not necessarily a super environmentally conscious person, this is definitely something to consider! The wedding industry is notorious for how much waste it produces. Did you know the average wedding produces 400 lbs of garbage and 63 tons of CO2? With the amount of weddings that occur per year, it ends up being about 1 billion pounds of trash and as many emissions as about 4 people would produce in just one year! We’re talking about a single day producing as much waste as multiple people could do in a year.

If all you did was reduce your guest size, that would already make a big difference! You can also eliminate single-use plastic, unnecessary waste, party favors, and so on. P.S. Instead of paying for a venue, you could pay a tiny permit for a National Park elopement (or other public lands), and those funds will go to maintaining those beautiful lands too!

10. Epic Memories & Photos!

Your lives together have been such a wild adventure so far and it’s brought you to this moment right now - you’re ready to say yes to forever! This day will kick off all the rest of the adventures you’ll have together for the rest of your lives and you can make it one of the best experiences you’ve ever had together, you can check things off your bucket list, you can have an epic vacation, you can do your favorite things, you can eat your favorite food and drink your favorite drinks and you get to call ALL the shots!

Oh, and did I mention you’ll get some pretty incredible photos together? Photos that will hang in your home forever, a beautiful way to re-live those precious memories, to share the experience with loved ones for years to come, and a piece of you that will last even longer than your life!

Should I Elope?

This is really only something that you and your significant other can answer, together. If hearing all about this amazing way to get married really excites you, makes you feel relief, and just feels right - then you absolutely should go for it!

It’s a brave and badass decision to throw the rule book out the window, put tradition and expectations aside and have an incredibly unique day that’s authentically you, fulfilling and meaningful, stress-free and exciting, and all about what really matters to you!

Maybe all of these reasons why couples choose to elope truly resonated with you and are making you second guess that big traditional wedding you’ve been planning (and possibly dreading) - maybe you want to have something DIFFERENT! And you absolutely can, this day can be yours, and I can’t wait to help you plan it and make your vision come to life!

Elopements vs. Weddings

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