What Does Eloping Mean?

What is an Elopement?

Elopement Definition

You’ve probably started seeing more and more, a different and unique way of getting married - elopements! But what is an elopement? What does eloping mean? Eloping doesn’t mean what it used to…It used to mean running off and getting married in secret, the poorly-planned, cheap, shameful way of getting married. Now, it really means a wedding experience that actually feels like YOU, that is about your love and commitment to each other, without all the fluff that the wedding industry and traditional social norms forces on us.

Traditional weddings tend to be about putting on a big production for a bunch of other people (many you’re probably not close to), spending lots of money on things that don’t mean anything to you, and just a hectic and rushed day where you don’t even get to enjoy it or even have a bite of your own cake. That’s why I’m such an advocate for elopements!

Having an elopement means you can throw tradition out the window, toss the rule book, and make the dream experience that your love story deserves!

What is Eloping?

What does it mean to elope?

There’s no cut-and-dry rules that differentiate a traditional wedding from an elopement. An elopement is an intimate, meaningful, and intentional wedding!

So, let’s talk about traditional weddings for a second - usually held at a wedding venue, there’s probably 100+ guests, you throw a big fancy party, go by a strict rushed timeline, dress up, take photos, feed a huge group of people, throw a bouquet to the single ladies, etc. Now of course large traditional weddings are beautiful events and there’s something really special about the *idea* of having all the people in your life in one room together, celebrating your love!

The problem is, I think some of the magic gets a little lost through that planning. There’s a very cookie-cutter template for the entire day, rules for everything, tons of little tasks to be done, a lot of stress, likely a lot of money, or family drama, and so on. Sometimes the larger the guest list becomes, the more the day becomes about planning an event for the guests in attendance, a party for other people.

Elopements strip away all that fluff, bringing weddings back to their true meaning and intention. Now, if a large traditional wedding is what feels right for you - that’s what it’s all about, really bringing things back to what feels right for you as a couple, regardless of outside influences, social expectations, or other obligations.

Contact me about your Elopement

Elopement vs. Wedding

Difference Between Elopement and Wedding

Ultimately, any way you choose to be married will be beautiful and will always be a wonderful celebration of the commitment you’re making to each other – it’s really about the experience of planning the day and the experience of the day(s) itself that differentiates these options for getting married. There’s a few key points that I’d say are the “typical” differences between weddings and elopements…

Guest List
Intention & Focus
Location & Activities
Values

Top 10 Reasons to Elope

Guest List

The guest list is a big one, but it’s not just about a number, it’s about how guests affect the logistics of planning and greatly influence what you can do on your day.

For traditional weddings, the guest list is typically large, there’s usually lots of people that are invited solely out of obligation, you may even be meeting new people on your wedding day, or there may be people there you’ll never see again. You will probably only see most of those guests for about 15 seconds, if you see them at all, and there’s just a lot less you can do logistically with so many people involved – can you imagine trying to take 200 people to hike up a mountain, or go on a road trip, or fly to a remote dream location?

For elopements, the guest list is usually intentionally small, whether that includes just you two as a couple or just immediate family or just close friends. This already opens up the possibilities of what you can do on your day, simply because it’s logistically easier! You can also spend true quality time with each person there, and they can really be part of the experience. Or if there will be no guests at all, then you have complete freedom and only have to worry about the two of you! There’s nobody you have to please, or expectations you need to oblige, or anything to answer to but yourselves!

How to Elope with Family

Intention & Focus

I would say this is one of the biggest differences between weddings and elopements. With traditional weddings, a lot of the focus during the planning process is all about the event itself, and hosting this large party geared towards entertaining guests and going off of a predetermined checklist for the day.

Elopements really peel back all the extra layers and bring weddings back to the true meaning and intention of the day – to commit your lives to each other and celebrate that commitment in a way that truly feels like you as a couple. It’s also a plus that you can express yourselves so much more naturally, comfortably, and authentically through the entire experience. For instance, it probably feels a lot different to say your intimate sacred vows to each other in front of 200 people versus when there’s only a few of your closest and most trusted loved ones, or it’s just the two of you.

Location & Activities

Traditional weddings usually happen at a wedding venue, which might be a big fancy ballroom or a lovely garden estate, or a nice hotel, a ranch house, vineyard, etc. One of the driving deciding factors here may be your guest count – you’ll need a location that is large enough to host all of your guests. If you’re going by a traditional wedding template, you’ll need a dance floor to keep your guests entertained, etc.

When planning an elopement, location possibilities basically become endless! You don’t have a large guest list so you don’t need a venue large enough to house them all, and you also don’t need an event space that’s made for entertaining. You can get married in your backyard, in a National Park, at your favorite beach, in a courthouse, on a gondola, on a cliff, in a cave, at your dream vacation spot, and so many more options!

Elopement Location Ideas

How to Choose your Elopement Location

Elopement Activity Ideas

Values

The truth is that there’s just more opportunities for stress, drama, and frustration when it comes to traditional weddings and the wedding industry machine. Traditional weddings might invite more family drama, conflicting cultural expectations, financial disagreements, and so on. I’ve found that a lot of couples just end up fed up with the entire wedding planning process and are just waiting to check everything off that to-do list and “get the wedding over with” – which just isn’t how you should feel on one of the most meaningful, special, and important days of your life!

Did you know that the average cost of a traditional wedding in the U.S. is over $33,000? We’re talking about $30k+ to throw a large formulated party for other people, an event space, decorations etc. If that experience really speaks to you and is worth that value to you, then hell yeah, you do you! One of the big differences between weddings and elopements is where your money goes, what you value, and what’s important to you. You can take your wedding fund and put it towards a kickass multi-day elopement adventure in the place of your dreams, incorporate your favorite activities or ones you’ve always wanted to try - helicopter ride anyone? – and even combine it with a honeymoon!

The Meaning of “Elope”

Define Elope

Although I’ve tried to lay out some of the difference between traditional weddings and elopements, I really want to make a point that you can also just have a mix of what suits you best! You can climb up a mountain just the two of you and then throw a party back home, or elope with your family and friends there, or make a multi-day adventure that includes everything you want, mix in traditional elements into a more elopement-style day, there’s so many ways to get creative here!

You don’t have to go for the “default” method, or what you’ve seen on TV, or what your parents did, etc. Now obviously if any of those things really excite you and the traditional way of weddings is what’s truly right for you – then go for it! That’s what this is all about. The point is, you have options and you can get married in the way that feels truly incredible, intentional, memorable, and speaks to you as a couple!