How to Elope with Family [2024]

Eloping with Family & Friends

This is one of the questions that I see couple ask the most when it comes to planning an elopement…What about my family? It’s completely understandable to be a bit lost on this topic, but I’m happy to tell you that there are so many options to include loved ones, make them feel involved, have them physically present, or just symbolically, and incorporate ways to make them feel like they’re part of this adventure with you!

There’s definitely a lot to consider when you’re deciding whether you’ll want any family or guests for your elopement as this will certainly impact a lot of the planning since it may affect which location you can choose, what dates work, how long your adventure might be, what activities you’ll be able to do, and so on.

Keep in mind that this decision doesn’t have to just be one or the other - you CAN have the best of both worlds and you can have a “just us” experience while still including loved ones. You could choose to include them in certain parts of the day, or have a multi-day adventure where one day is meant for having them present and one day is for just the two of you - there’s plenty of possibilities.

Things to Consider When Choosing to Elope with Family & Friends

Who will be supportive and on board with you about this decision?

Do you want your vows to be private or have loved ones attend your ceremony? (Hint: You can do both! Have a ceremony with loved ones and then exchange private vows later)
Would anyone cause more stress in the planning, or makes you nervous, uncomfortable, or stressed? Who would be great to have by your side?
Are ceremony locations accessible/allow guests? Can everyone physically reach your location? (Is there hiking involved, etc?)
Also think about lodging, travel, transportation, and time off work. Would others have to travel far to get to your location?
Would it be easier to just have a “just us” experience so you don’t end up feeling like the “few loved ones” is turning into a bigger and bigger list?

Elopement Ideas with Family

How to Involve Family & Friends in Your Elopement

There’s so many different ways to include your loved ones in your elopement, whether you want them to be physically present with you or find other creative ways to involve them. Here’s some ideas to get your started if you want to involve family and friends in your elopement…

Have multiple days!

This is my favorite solution to offer to couples who are really struggling with the decision of whether to include family in their elopement! Who says you need to fit everything into one day and who says you can’t have everything you want for your wedding? You can absolutely do both - include loved ones AND have a “just us” experience!

A lot of couples opt to have a multi-day elopement, one day to spend with your loved ones, and one day that is just for the two of you. You could even have one ceremony that is more traditional for your day with family, and another more intimate ceremony on your just-us day where you exchange private vows to each other. This is a great way to truly have the best of both worlds! It also means you can include more of what you want to do and not feel rushed.

Split up your day into two parts

If you don’t want to do multiple days, you can split your day up into two separate parts - maybe a morning spent with family where you have your ceremony with them and later in the day is just for the two of you, maybe for a sunset adventure where you can still keep your personal vows to exchange in private. You can also just choose to have your ceremony and vows with your closest people by your side, keeping in mind that having loved ones at your ceremony may affect which location you can choose.

Include them in other ways

There’s other ways to include family in your elopement, like involving them in other parts of the day. For example, you could invite them to join the getting-ready portion, have breakfast with them, let them witness your First Look, do Family Photos with them, etc. And you can have a celebratory dinner, or enjoy some cake or dessert together! You could even include them on a completely separate day by celebrating with a post-elopement party or house-warming party down the line!

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How to Involve Friends & Family Who aren’t Physically Present…

Even if you decide not to have any family and friends at your elopement, there are still plenty of ways to include them in your day!

Throw an engagement party to celebrate beforehand
Have a party, reception, or house-warming after your elopement
Ask them for help during the planning (elopement details, picking out wedding attire, helping with DIY stuff, etc.)
Have them write letters you can read after your elopement ceremony
They can create video toasts for you to watch on your day
Do a FaceTime or Zoom call with them to witness signing your marriage license
Bring some family heirlooms to use as details for your elopement
Get them a special keepsake from your trip
Share your professional photos with them!
Gift them some beautiful prints and photo album

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How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

There’s a few different ways to approach this, whether you want to tell loved ones in advance or announce it after the fact, or only tell a few closest loved ones, etc. Ultimately, do what feels right for you! What will make you feel the happiest and most relaxed on your wedding day? What will you look back on and be glad you did?

I can understand and appreciate that this all might be such a foreign concept to many of your loved ones, especially if your family (like mine) are very traditional and just “won’t get it.” Be open-minded and patient with them, this is all very new to them and may be the first time they’re even hearing the word “elopement” (or have negative preconceptions about it) - here are a few tips to help with sharing the [awesome] news…

Warm them up to the idea…

Show family & friends some of your inspiration photos geared towards elopements, small intimate weddings, maybe outdoor adventures, etc. Let them see that “oh, this is a thing!” This will also allow them to feel more involved in the process and it’ll all feel like less of a surprise. Help them change the narrative they may have in their heads that elopements are just “shameful, cheap, poorly-planned,” open them up to what an elopement REALLY is!

Share your reasons for choosing an Elopement…

Explain to your loved ones that this has nothing to do with “running away” or excluding them. Share why this was the right decision for you! If you need some ideas on some of the common reasons that couples choose to elope, I encourage you to check out my post on the Top 10 Reasons to Elope, and here’s some great ideas you can share with them too…

What you can say about why you’re eloping:

We want a day that’s about us committing our lives to each other, rather than worrying about a giant guest list and all the chaotic details that come with planning a traditional wedding.
It’s important to us to have something small, meaningful, and intentional - we want this day to feel intimate and special.
We don’t want to be rushed through a hectic traditional wedding timeline, we want to have real quality time to spend together and any loved ones we might include.
Our vows are private and sacred to us, we want them to be just for us rather than having an audience and being nervous.
We want our wedding day to be stress-free, relaxed, and laid back.
We don’t want to pay for a big expensive venue and feed 200+ guests dinner, we’d rather allocate funds to things that really matter to us.
We’re picturing a long hike or activity that’s really important to us and that just wouldn’t work with a large group of people.
A large traditional wedding will mean a huge budget spent on things we don’t really want - we’d rather save for a down payment on a house and more experiences together.

Involve them in the planning…

This is a great way to make family and friends feel involved in your wedding experience! Asking them to help out through the planning process can make them feel like they’re still part of your special day and will help them see how important they are to you! They’ll also get to see all the fun details of planning an elopement and will probably understand more why all of this is the route you wanted to go!

Incorporate family traditions…

Something I’ve had couples run into when planning an elopement is that their families “didn’t feel like this is their wedding.” If that’s something you’re worried about, it might help to try and incorporate some traditions into your elopement that would be meaningful to your loved ones, whether they be cultural, religious, or family traditions. Now, part of why you’re having an elopement might be that you don’t want to do any of that. Well, the the beauty of choosing to elope is that you can decide what to include or not include!

Share your photos & gift them an album…

I might be biased, but this is my favorite part! Honestly, when your loved ones see your photos, a lot of times that’s when they really “get it!” They can see all of the emotions, all the feels, and how truly special and amazing and unique your entire experience was - and they’ll feel like they were right there with you!

Finally, remember…

Ultimately, you are having an elopement to have a day that is TRUE TO YOU, that is stress-free, drama-free, and is completely authentic and intentional, intimate and meaningful, and a completely fulfilling and joyful experience for you! I encourage you to empathize with your family and friends who may not fully understand your plans — what you’re doing is so unique and brave and beautiful, and in the end you deserve to have a wedding experience that speaks to you, feels right, celebrates your love, and you can still involve your loved ones in any way you’d like!

I’m your PLANNER too!

I’ll help you plan your elopement from start to finish!

You’ll have an EXPERT by your side the whole way

Let's plan your elopement!

Elopement Photographer & Guide

I’m your Elopement Photographer & Guide, experience creator, resource provider, planning consultant, location scouter, idea machine, and adventure buddy

I’m your personal GUIDE, your PLANNER, and your BEST FRIEND! As both your location expert and your elopement expert, I’m here to help craft the experience of your dreams - and capture it all for you! I’ll be there every step of the way to help make your vision come to life…

LET’S DO THIS!!